In 2013, after 40 years of dysfunctional adult life, I was diagnosed with (PTD) Psychosexual Trauma Disorder which is a comorbid condition. 

I had a chronic depressive illness and complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I had a Psychological injury that was caused by childhood trauma.

I have now had extensive support and therapy.

I am happily married with 7 children and 8 grand-children.

I want to use my ‘lived’ and professional experience as a resource to help others. 

Age 4

Background

In 1961 I was described as a child with ‘difficult behaviour’ who was presenting a problem to my mother. 

First address 1957

A doctor concluded that there was no evidence of anything psychiatrically wrong with me and that my difficult behaviour was a direct reaction to a ‘very unfavourable background.’

There had been numerous changes of address, 6 in less than 4 years, since my parents separated when I was a baby. My father was imprisoned for non-payment of maintenance and I had been in the care of several different people ‘without the opportunity of making a secure, lasting relationship with any of them’.

The doctor recorded that my mother, ‘ because of her own emotional problems, had not been able to cope adequately and that a great deal is upsetting to ( me) in the present home setting ’. At that time, I was living happily with my grandparents.

Living with grandparents

My mother was referred ‘again’ for support and help in management and no direct treatment was provided for me.

Note:

In my Medical records and Social Services records references are made to the fact that no evidence can be found to support the alleged ‘bad behaviour’ repeatedly reported by my mother.

Age 2

Age 5

From the age of 5, following my mother’s divorce and second marriage, I was subject to extreme mental and physical abuse.

The abuse included threat and violence from an alcoholic step-parent; causing mental health and behaviour issues and somatic symptoms such as loss of speech and visual disturbances.

The abuse included;

• being controlled with the use of trained Alsatian guard dogs.
• being hung by my ankles from a first story window with the threat of being dropped.
• being force fed with hot sprouts, to the point of choking, while my step-father sat on my chest.

Detail of this abuse has been published in a book about domestic abuse

(Read my story in the book below. ‘Mr. Angry’ Page 55)

Amazon link: Have Wings Will Fly